She found a place to sit, away from the fighting, away from the people, away from everything. She leaned up against the wall and closed her eyes, loosing herself in her thoughts. So much had happened since she almost died..but at the same time so much hadn't. Janvier refused to talk to her.. he didn't believe that she was cast under a spell by Arcann. All he knew and he beleived was that she betrayed him, and it was killing her all over again. Since she joined the shadows, the three people that she had grown the closest to were Pieter, Janvier and Tanika. She was friends with almost everyone in the Shadows..but for some reason those three...
Pieter has protected her, helped her grow, guided her, and made her care for him more then any person in the horrid town, she would scarafice anything for him. Janvier, despite the constant death threats, she felt a link with him that made her care for him, she knew somewhere deep inside that demon, he had to care for her as well. Tanika.. the only other human in the shadows.. she had grown especially close to, maybe it was because they were both humans and she felt she could relate to her...she wasn't quite sure.
Despite all those facts as she layed her head against the wall, she felt lost and confused. She was afraid to do anything..how do you tell the Lord of the Shadows that your scared to die? Could she even admit that weakness to Pieter? What would he think of her? Since the incident she had gone after a few folks here and there, but every time she drew her blades she had flashbacks of killing one of her own, it was affecting her fighting skills. Her judgement was clouded.. Could she really keep on like this? How can she moved past this?
She thumped her head against the wall in frustration, the pain was comforting, she felt the blood trickle softly down the back of her neck, it reminded her that she was alive. Thats what pain was for, to remind you that you were alive right? She shook her head as the pain grew excendly worse..
What the fuck was wrong with her?
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