Growing Confused

So since the day she joined the Righteous, she has done nothing but try to prove her loyalty to the group. She was beyond words when they promoted her to Templar and now today she was ready to throw it all away. How can things switch back and forth so quickly? One day she was ready to put her life on the line for anything that Jon asked her to, and today she was ready to walk out the door and say Fuck em all. Her anger poured from her in waves that she wasn't entirely sure Jon and Pix were picking up on. She had been pulled into the office once again to be lectured over something, this time she truly felt she had no control over.

Earlier in the day, she had walked into the church to find Pix speaking with who she knew was a Coven member, the name was not coming to her tho. She stood there not paying much attention to anything as she waited patiently to speak with Pix. She looked up when she saw Pieter walk in. She was always happy to see him, but she had this gut feeling that Pix was about to freak out. She always did when Pieter was around, even outside the church. He walked up to her pointing... "You...you...youuuuuu" he paused, "are just gorgeous". She immediately blushed and smiled, she wanted to pounce and kiss him right there, but she got something even better a warming hug. Pix immediately was up in arms telling Pieter to leave and Pieter simply ignored her. Pix turned to her and told her to make him leave. She knew very well that she couldn't make him leave. It was Pieter, if she asked him to leave, he would know it was because of Pix and would stay in spite just to aggravate Pix more, so what's the point. So she asked Pix, what exactly did she want her to do?. Pix in turn lunged forward to attack Pieter, accidentally hitting her as well. She shruged it off, she knew it was not intentional. Finally, Pieter left, she went after him to check on him, not having a second thought of what had happened in the church.

Until now, she listed as Pix and Jon lectured her about her poor indecision to make Pieter leave or to remove herself from the situation by leaving the church in hopes that Pieter would follow her out. She wanted to laugh at what they said, apparently they didn't know Pieter very well. She was reminded again how no matter what, there was a steadfast rule of no shadows in the church. When they asked her finally of her opinion on the matter she was up front and honest. She felt she did nothing wrong in the situation, she did not make Pieter enter the church, and she knew she couldn't make him leave. She was told she disregarded a direct order from Pix. She wanted to roll her eyes and ask what exact kind of order that was... Regardless of the situation their minds were already set, she apparently was the one that could of prevented all this from happening and Jon was furious. As Pix took her leave Jon turned to her and gave her a warning that next time she exhibited the same kind of behavior she was not going to get off on a warning. He proceeded to ask her what exactly she would do in the situation that the Righteous would have to fight the Shadows, the Shadows including Pieter? She simply told him that wasn't a fair question to ask of her at the time... she really didn't know, she had never thought that far ahead. Regardless he told her she needed to come up with an answer to his questions rather quickly and turned to walk out the door.

As she walked down the street in the chilly night she had alot running thru her head. Never before had she doubted the ways of the Righteous, nor had she questioned her command. She trusted and looked up to Jon as she would her own older brother, or hell even father..but now.. she wasn't so sure. She was growing confused over what path she should actually be taking. Why exactly was it she was being yelled at and told never to let something like that happen again, when she was so sure she did nothing wrong, something she didn't have any control over to begin with? Instead of reflecting on the questions Jon told her to, she now was focusing on what exactly she was going to do with herself in the Righteous. For the first time she was actually second guessing wearing the pin she so proudly the day before sported...